Forgiveness is mine

Forgiveness for myself has already been written about here. Next it is the forgiveness of my sibling. My only sister, who has chosen not to be in my life. For reasons that still make no sense.

Forgiveness is a two way street for many. But what if you don’t speak to that person? How can you make a mends? What if there isn’t any more things left to be said. All that has been said on the maybe reasons have been. Each side has spoken. Still no resolution. So now what?

Now we find the peace. For all is as it needs to be when we can get to a level of acceptance. The peace within me has not comes from a place of giving up. But from a place of accepting her decision. What she needs is what she needs, for me to try to disagree is not for me to say. So acceptance of her current decision is all that is possible. Can I forgive her? That is the question.

Forgiveness is only mine. For I can not force someone else to change. I can not ask someone else to do something just to help me feel better. What they do with their own lives is just for them. What has taken many years to accept, is that her choice was not to chose. She chose to cut us out, but in doing so she also chose not to do anything to help rectify. Difficult to accept. Something that each of us does need to witness and experience so we ourselves know how it feels.

Have you done this to someone else? Probably not just once. Maybe not as big as a sibling, but maybe a work colleague or an old friend. Each person is of value. Not to say we don’t need to know how to do what we need to do to protect ourselves. But sometimes, facing things is something we need to do.

Each experience is just that, an experience. For me it was a hurtful one. Was it something I had karmically attracted? Of course. I need to own my part in this circle of life. For others it maybe you don’t feel you have ever done something as bad. Or not that you can remember, or want to remember? Maybe is was in another life? All we can ever do is to accept all of our own darkness to make way for the healing, and therefore more light. To forgive is an essential step.

If this post has brought something up for you, I’d strongly encourage you to take some moments to stop. Sit with what has come up. Journal or just meditate. Use this as an opportunity for you to ask yourself, is there someone I need to forgive? If it is too painful and you feel you need someone to guide you through the process, I’d be honoured. Read more from me here.

Examples of forgiveness belief balances

  • I forgive my father/mother for all of their imperfections
  • I forgive all the wrongs
  • I forgive myself for the love I withheld out of anger
  • I forgive [name] for all of their imperfections
  • I forgive [name] for not being who I wanted them to be
  • I forgive [name] for my own decisions and actions
  • I forgive [name] for all of the emotional pain
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