Forgiveness is a necessary part of the healing process. Forgiveness of yourself. If you feel triggered by this post, sit with it. For our triggers are showing us something within ourselves that needs to heal.
What I’d like to begin with is one of my own forgiveness stories. One where I needed to firstly forgive myself, then also others.
As part of my rapid ascension into holding higher frequencies it involved telling myself some stories. Some were purely to make it easier. Others were for my ego. As a child we are told many things that may or may not be true. You are a good girl. You are so good at dancing etc. So what is it to also tell ourselves about what we want to be? If you do any type of manifesting program they will tell you to firstly believe. So you tell yourself you are already in the place. So for this it was no different.
What happened is a combination of me believing some wild things. So wild that I did believe that I was helping to save this world. No one else could do my particular job. If I hadn’t believed this, I would have stopped doing what I needed to do. Stopped doing what I needed to heal myself from so many programs. Programs that many of us are stuck in. Like someone else is going to save me. When we give over our power to someone else, we forget who we are. So the fact that I took my own saving as a mission, was a calling back of my power. Then of course was the saviour complex I needed to heal.
As a child I was helping my parents many times ‘save’ people. The church has a way to indoctrinate you. Programming me to look for people to ‘save’. Whether that was by helping to get them food, or something else they didn’t have. The pattern is helping people who didn’t ask.
So where does the forgiveness come in?
My hardest thing to cope with was the fact that I had lied to myself. How could I have told myself such a crazy story and also believed it?
Forgiveness now comes. When you can accept that for each positive story (and they were all positive) I was just helping myself get to my highest potential.
As another example, I was taught to always check in for ensuring that what I was doing was in my ‘best and highest good’. So when I was taught by a PSYCH-K trainer to ask is it ‘safe and appropriate’ this was not what I needed.
PSYCH-K is a wonderful tool. My teacher was a very intuitive guy who always had the best intentions. But he was also stuck. He was programmed to give us the original training, not what he himself had worked out. ‘Safe and appropriate’ is very different from ‘best and highest good’. During one of the breakout group practice sessions we had, I forgot to disconnect before going to the next person. What happened was the teacher used me as a teaching moment. Instead of teaching me what was in the original material, he said, ‘it’s ok’, you can also ask to keep those beliefs for yourself. Before proceeding to teach us how to complete that.
It was in that moment that my mind work out this was a way to get more. More is a term for collecting codes from others. In that moment I didn’t ask myself was it in ‘my best and highest good’. As ‘safe and appropriate’ can not necessarily mean it is in my own best interest. There begun the confusion.
It has been just over two years since that particular training. I have used that method a few times. Now forgiveness is necessary.
For I have realised that a few months ago I took on someone else’s beliefs, thinking they sounds good. But I forgot to check, was it in my own best and highest good? It was for my client, but these weren’t for me.
Since that session I have been slowly turning back to what I used to be. Not going forward. Forgetting some of who I am. Making some wrong decisions. Forgetting why I am here. So now I need to let that old part of me go. Fully dedicate my life to being on the path that I am destined to be on. I forgive myself.
Everything is for our benefit. The experience has been a way to fully comprehend what it is like for this to happen. So I can better teach. So I can hold myself more accountable. So I can also ensure that I check in for my clients. Every person is so unique and what is a good wording of a belief for someone, may not be the words for someone else.